Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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