Me too!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
