i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
