considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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