u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
