lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
