i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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