My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
