Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
