Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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