Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
