did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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