hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
