I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
