so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
