fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
