I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
