I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
