so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
