I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
