Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
