Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
