This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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