I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
