worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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