Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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