wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
