yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
