Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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