Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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