She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
