p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
