I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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