Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
