Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
