Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
there is puke in my bra ... again
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