My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
