with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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