So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
