Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
