Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
