Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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