I just made out with a guy for $7.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
