So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize