I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
