i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
