You just made me feel so damn special
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
