Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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