She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
