i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
