with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
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i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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