I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
