that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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