Dual....:-)
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
