I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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