Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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