I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
