Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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