I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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