We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
