Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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