Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
