Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
