Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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