i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
