I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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